Wounded Souls
by jjbc
Summary: Typical two people meet, fall in love, lose each other along the way, find each other again, looks like things may workout but tragedy is waiting in the wings.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Fallon confronted her father, "I know you will probably be opposed to what we're about to say, but I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions. I have not been dependent on you for anything in a good number of years. I have decided that I am not going to marry Cole. I never loved him and never wanted to be with him that was always you and Sheldon's idea. I'm not even sure Cole ever really wanted a relationship with me."

"I see. Tell me were you capable of making your own decisions when you got involved with Steffen?"

Jesse had intended to hang back and allow Fallon to speak to her father first, but after that remark he had to comment. "Mr. Tremaine, that is hardly fair, she was just a kid then."

"Oh, and you think she is all grown up now. Jesse, you need to know her a little bit better before you make that assumption. She still has a habit of doing things without thinking it completely through."

"We didn't come here to argue with you Mr. Tremaine. We didn't have to come at all we could have just gone someplace and gotten married, but I wanted Fallon to have something better than that. We are trying to do the right thing here."

"So, Fallon, you have chosen to spend you life with Jesse here? You believe you are madly in love with him, is that it."

"That's right father, I have never really loved anyone until Jesse came along. You can throw Steffen in my face all you want, I know that was a mistake but Jesse is not."

"Of course, she knows all about you. Am I right Jesse?"

Jesse moved closer to Randall Tremaine and said as quietly as possible in the hope that Fallon would not hear. "I will tell her. Please let me do it my way so she understands. I was hoping that you would not be completely opposed to this."

"Jesse, you know how much I admire your work, you are probably the smartest person I have ever encountered. I would not be in the position I'm in today if not for the things you have done for me. That said, you really don't think I believe you are good enough to marry my daughter that I would have you for a son-in-law? Even if I thought you were anywhere near her equal having you for a son-in-law would ruin me. Can you imagine the fallout if it were known that Senator Randall Tremaine's daughter was married to a mercenary, a criminal?"

"Please tell me what you two are talking about. Mercenary, criminal, what does that even mean? Jesse, are you involved in something illegal? Did you know my father in the past before you came here to write your book?"

"Fallon, baby, we can discuss this later."

"I don't think I ever want to discuss it. Please, can we go now, I knew it was going to be a mistake trying to reason with my father. His only interest is in furthering his political goals, and he believes my marrying Cole will help him in that quest.

"My dear Fallon, there was never any book. It was all a lie to get close to you, to watch you and determine your relationship with Leland. Jesse, tell her now. Tell her everything or I will."

At that point Jesse knew how this would play out, that he was not going to win, and he was going to lose her. He probably always knew but just didn't want to face it. Once she was aware of what he was, what he had done she would hate him forever, but he had to be as honest as possible. "Yes, I've worked for your father in the past, numerous times. Actually I have been doing assignments for your father since I was 18 years old. I came to Seattle this time on an assignment for Cole. You have to understand, I did not know you when I first came into your home and Cole introduced me as his writer friend. Cole, with the recommendation of your father, hired me. It was not the kind of job that my organization usually does and I was opposed to it from the very beginning, but we accepted it because your father was such a good client. I got involved because your father always insists that I handle all of his assignments.

Cole was suspicious of your relationship with Leland, and he hired us to check out what was really going on between the two of you. I knew almost as soon as I met Leland that there was no chance that you were anything other than friends. I submitted my report to Cole immediately hoping he would drop the whole thing and I could get back to the compound and return to my usual duties. I was already beginning to have feelings for you and at the time that was the last thing I wanted or needed. Cole would not let it go. Even the close friendship you shared with Leland made him jealous"

Fallon was starting to panic. What was he telling her? She loved Jesse so much, almost from that first day, _please let all of this be a dream, I can't lose him. "_Father, make him stop; I don't want to hear any of this. Why are you making him tell me these things? Stop him now or I will leave this house and never come back."

"Don't be so dramatic. You will hear what he has to say and when you do you will understand why you can't possible marry him. You will actually thank me for stopping something that could be so destructive for all of us."

"It's ok Fallon, I should have been honest with you sooner, and maybe we could have avoided all of this. After I made my report to Cole, he wanted us to find a way to get rid of Leland. You were right when you believed his leaving was because of me, you were only wrong about the reason. Cole insisted it happen after he left for South America so you would not suspect him of any involvement. So I had to stay, and the longer I was here the more I fell under your spell until loving you had become an obsession for me. You were all I cared about. I was willing to give up everything I had ever known to be with you. I had never loved before, didn't even believe there was such an emotion until I met you. To that end, Fallon, you have to understand I can't lose you; I could not live without you at this point. I can change I can be anything you want me to be, just don't hate me; don't shut me out of your life. "

Fallon was having a difficult time absorbing it all. She understood that Jesse had lied to her, hell from what he was saying she couldn't even believe that he even cared about her. Jesse had done something awful to Leland. As much as she loved him she could not accept this. "You lied? How can I believe that you ever loved me, if you were even capable of love? What have you done to Lee? Oh my god is he still even alive? Oh please tell me you didn't hurt him."

"Leland is fine, I was very specific that my men do nothing to harm him or hurt him in any way. I even had them set him up with a job and some money to run on until he was in a position to take care of himself. I know how much he means to you. He was not even aware of my involvement."

She was screaming at him now, "You sent him away from me! He was my dearest friend, I shared everything with him. He loved you, how could you have done such a thing to him? You lied to me! My father says you are a criminal, what kind of criminal, a thief, a drug dealer, a killer? I'm sorry Jesse, as much as I loved you I can't be with you after this. I would never be able to trust you or believe anything you ever told me again. I can't even believe that you ever loved me."

Jesse caught the past tense when she said loved and it almost killed him. How could he manage without her? He had never known much happiness in his life, being raised at the compound was not conducive to happiness. Cara had stolen any kind of childhood he could have ever hoped to have. Fallon was the only good and decent thing in his life.

"Fallon, please give it some time, let's talk about this alone, and give me a better chance to explain. Of course I love you. You are the only thing I have ever loved or ever will. Please let's not do this to each other."

She was starting to get hysterical. She wanted this to all go away. She wanted to lie down and sleep so she could not feel the pain this was causing her. "You're a liar, you're a crook, and you took Leland away from me. There is no way that you are even capable of love your heart is cold and dead, you probably don't even have a heart. What you have done to me is much worse then what I suffered with Steffen it has hurt me so much more. Get out I don't want to look at you anymore. I'm going to Lilli's for the night. I won't stay in this house another minute. Father, if you had only said yes when we asked I would never have known all of this it would have been so much better at least I would be happy now instead I'll never be happy again. I never want to see either one of you again. Jesse, I want you out of my house before I get home tomorrow." With that she turned and ran out of the room.

"Well, Jesse, you heard her. It would be better if you left now."

Defeated he replied, "yes, the damage is done there is nothing more I can say. Be advised Mr. Tremaine Grayfox will never do business with you again. I will see to that.


	2. Chapter 2

He was in no condition to drive. The pain in his head was overwhelming, and he kept hearing her words _"worse then what I suffered with Steffen, It has hurt me so much more."_ He could not stop shaking. He had no idea where he was going or why, he had lost all track of time and distance and the pain in his head would not go away. He needed a drink but there was nothing around but woods. How far away was any town? He really needed a drink, had to stop the pain in his head stop shaking. It was hard to think with her words going on and on, repeating the hurtful things she had said to him.

He saw a dirt road off to his left and without thinking about it turned off the highway. He had driven only a short distance when a vague plan started to form. He started to drive faster and faster and when he saw the biggest tree around he drove directly toward it. The crash came shortly afterward.

Why was the pain in his head still there? He was sure hitting the tree would take care of everything, end the pain, end the shaking, end the life he was tired of. After a while he realized that he could not even do a proper job of killing himself. While he was not wearing his seatbelt the damn airbag had pinned him against the seat and he was virtually unhurt. He sat there for a long time completely disoriented not knowing what to do next, he didn't want to live but he was being denied even death.

He stumbled out of the car and back onto the highway without realizing what he was doing. The car coming toward him came to an abrupt stop. A petite redhead stepped out of the car and came toward him. "Are you all right, are you hurt?"

He looked at her with unseeing eyes and said nothing. She was not sure if she should help him but he looked so helpless, so confused she led him to her car and sat him in the passenger seat. "I'm headed to Bellingham, we're only about 10 miles out and I will take you to a hospital. They will be able to help you."

When they reached the outskirts of town he seemed to recover enough that he told her, "I will be fine just let me off at the nearest intersection and I will find my way from there."

She was hesitant but he did not seem like the kind of person you argued with and she was getting nervous about him anyway. When they reached a fairly busy intersection she stopped and he got out and started walking down the street. She watched for a minute then drove on.

Jesse walked for a little distance when he spotted an open bar and walked in. "Give me two shots of whisky and a glass of beer." When the bartender brought the drinks he quickly downed the first shot, dropped the second into the beer and drank it down quickly. Pounding on the bar he demanded another round. After two more rounds the pain in his head was, if not gone at least manageable.

The waitress came over and sat down beside him. "Mr. you should take it easy. At the rate your going we'll have to scrape you off the floor. Nothing could be so bad you have to drink like that. Your already about to fall off that barstool. Come with me and I'll lead you to a booth. It will be more comfortable at least, but you really should go home. By the way, my name is Rachel,"

Jesse looked at her, "Rachel? I don't have a home, I don't have a life. This bar is the only place I want to be at the moment."

By closing time he was already so drunk that he couldn't move, think, or care about anything he just wanted to lie in this booth and die. Rachel didn't want to turn him out into the street in that condition. She asked Phil, the bartender and owner of Palo's, to help her get him up to her apartment. She lived just a block away. Between the two of them they managed to get him settled into her spare bedroom.

The next morning Rachel woke to the sound of doors slamming and the man she had brought home last night coursing loudly enough to wake the neighbors. She ran into the kitchen to quite him down. "What is the matter with you, do you want to get me kicked out of my apartment? What are you looking for?"

"I need a drink; **now**! Don't you have anything in this house? My head is about to blow up and the only thing that will help is a drink. Where am I anyway, and who the hell are you?"

"You don't remember last night at Palo's. I'm Rachel, the waitress. You got so drunk you passed out and we had to carry you here. I didn't know where to take you so I brought you to my apartment. I was taking a hell of a chance bringing you here when I don't even know your name or anything about you. For all I know you could be a serial killer."

"Lady, if I were a serial killer I would have killed you by now for not having anything to drink in this damned apartment. I'm in no shape to move right now, my head is going to explode at any minute. You need to find me something right now or I will be forced to do something drastic. If it would make you feel any better my name is Jesse and I'm definitely not a serial killer, just an ordinary run of the mill contract killer. Now find me something for the pain!"

Rachel was hoping that his remark about contract killer was his way of joking, but she did hesitate for a moment. He didn't strike her as the type who made many jokes or even had a sense of humor. "Jeff is probably at Palo's by now, hang on I think I have some pills around here somewhere that you can take until I can get over there and get you something to drink. I'll be right back with a bottle of whisky and some beer. That seems to be your drink of choice."

"I don't care what you get, just get it now, and don't stop at one bottle!"

She found some old painkillers that had been prescribed to her when she had dental surgery several months ago. She gave them to him and hurried out to Palo's before he blew up again. Although he frightened her she knew she was going to let him stay as long as he needed. He was hurting so badly over something that had happened in his life, and her motherly instinct had kicked in; she just wanted to comfort him. Besides which he was the most incredibly good looking man she had even seen. She was sure his troubles could not be connected to a woman for what woman in her right mind would hurt him?


	3. Chapter 3

He had nowhere else he wanted to go, he could not return to Seattle couldn't face being that close to Fallon and not be with her, and he was not prepared to return to Grayfox. He had lost her because of them. So he continued to stay with Rachel.

One morning a couple of weeks into his stay Rachel found $2,000 on her kitchen table. She confronted him "What exactly is this for? I never asked you to give me any money; I'm doing this because I want to help you."

"I don't need your help. I am perfectly capable of paying my own way. Just because I don't appear to work I do have money. I figure $2,000 a month will just about cover things for the time I stay."

"Two thousand a month is totally unreasonable. You hardly eat anything; I almost have to force food down you. Granted the alcohol gets a little expensive, but even as much as you drink it surely is not $2,000 a month worth."

"You have to pay rent and expenses don't you, on this apartment? Well, I intend to pay my share I have never lived off a woman and I'm not about to start now."

As the days and weeks passed they settled into a strange routine. Rachel worked nights at the bar and did her best to care for him during the day. Anyway as much care as he would allow. For the most part he never left the apartment drinking, reading newspapers, surfing the internet and pacing the rooms most of the day, never appearing to notice her. She fed him, cleaned for him, purchased his papers; he insisted on one paper from each city that the nearby newsstand sold. He read every one of them each day from front to back. She continued to hope he would eventually appreciate her and even care for her. She was still unsure what it was that made him so angry yet so sad at the same time. By now she had surmised that he had lost a woman he was so completely in love with that the loss was destroying him. She was still not sure if the woman had died or left him.

He did leave the apartment each morning before his first drink of the day to workout at the local gym and do a little boxing. He did at least want to keep himself in shape because he knew he would eventually return to Grayfox and become the leader. It was the only place he had ever lived until now, all he had ever known so there was nowhere else to go. First, however, he had to find a way to control the staggering pain that enveloped him constantly he had to find a way to get over her.

The days passed into months and the routine never changed. Some days were better than others if you could consider the days when he wasn't so incapacitated by the pain that he could hardly breathe as better days. Well into the fifth month he had been with Rachel he was having an unusually bad week. So bad that there were a couple of days when he was not even able to get out of bed and go to the gym. The nights were even worse, he would sleep for only short periods but than the horrible nightmare would wake him and it would be hours before he was able to sleep again, or for that matter wanted to because he knew the nightmare was lurking somewhere near the surface just waiting to come back to haunt him.

Friday was shaping up to be the worst day yet. The night before he had had the nightmare again but was not able to wake enough for it to end. Although he could not remember any part of it on Friday morning the horror of it continued to plague him. He decided to forgo the gym and get busy on his drinking to try to deaden the pain to some degree. He decided to read some of the newspapers Rachel had bought that morning. He finished both the Seattle and Bellingham papers and had moved on to Spokane's paper next. He was not usually in the habit of reading it as closely as the others, Spokane held no interest to him, but something kept him turning each page until he reached a column titled "Out and About in Spokane." Seemed like a local gossip column and he was about to start on a new paper when a name caught his eye.

_As I was going through the public records a few days back I came across a marriage license application for a Carter Brendon & Fallon Tremaine. This reporter is sure it is __**the**__ Fallon Tremaine who is the daughter of our venerable Senator from the great state of Washington. There is a rumor going around that Senator Tremaine will be making a bid for the Presidential nomination in the next election three years from now. Wonder why these two lovebirds would pick Spokane to apply for their license and also why there has been no announcement reference the upcoming nuptials from Senator Tremaine's camp._

Jesse gripped the arms of the chair he was sitting in took a deep breathe and waited for the pain to hit. He was positive this time it would be so bad he could not possibly be able to withstand it, but for the first time since she had ordered him out of her father's house he felt nothing. He was completely numb. He sat there for the longest time, waiting for all hell to break lose inside him. Remarkably, nothing happened. Yes he was overwhelmed with sadness, bitterness, regret, and he wanted to die now more than any other time in his long lonely life. But he felt absolutely none of the excruciating pain that had engulfed him for the past months and would not let go. The fact that she was married, and to his brother of all people, seemed to shut everything inside him completely down build a wall around him that held back everything.

Friday passed into Saturday, Saturday into Sunday. He felt only numb, no debilitating headaches, no knives cutting at his insides every minute of the day, only a crushing emptiness and complex sadness enveloped him. His brother, married to the woman he loved and whom he would continue to love through all eternity.

Rachel was also aware of a huge change in him. He no longer drank anything, he sat at the table and ate like an ordinary person he did not read the newspapers or surf the internet at all, and he was away from the apartment now for long periods of time each day. He never spoke never uttered one word to her or anyone else who might be at the apartment or the bar on the few occasions when he went there while she was working. It was as if he really believed he was alone there. She was not sure which was worse, the drinking, brooding, and angry outbursts or the silence.

The one new development that Rachel welcomed with open arms was when several nights after the change in him occurred he came into her room, into her bed and silently fucked her. No preamble, no loving touches nothing at all intimate he simply pushed himself inside her and when it was over he left her room, took a shower, and slept in his own bed. Up to then he had never attempted to touch her or show any interest in taking that direction with her or anyone else. She always took it as him not wanting to cheat on the woman he was obsessing over. Rachel could only hope that he was finally getting over her.

Over the course of the next few weeks it became a nightly routine for him to enter her room, silently take her, shower, and sleep in his own bed. He never mentioned it to her the next morning, never acted as if it had even happened. She didn't mind, she was willing to accept any crumb he gave her, against her better judgment she was in love with him.

Jesse was not entirely sure why he was behaving in this manner. He felt nothing for this woman who had taken him in, and he knew this fact made him more of a shit than he wanted to think he was. The awful truth was it was impossible for him to feel anything but his all consuming desire for Fallon. When he was with Rachel he felt absolutely nothing so why bother. He convinced himself that this was his way of punishing Fallon for how she had hurt him, but Jesse was also sure that Fallon felt nothing for him any longer and would not care in the least if he had sex with numerous women each night.

Rachel's friend Freda told her that his behavior amounted to rape and she should call the authorities, kick him out, but Freda had been advising her to kick him out all along. She was pretty sure Freda was jealous. Rachel did not consider it rape for she welcomed it, even enjoyed it. She was sure that in time he would begin to be more intimate, more loving, sleep with her throughout the night.

Of course that never happened for two months after he read the article he called Felix at Grayfox and announced that he would be returning. Felix was overjoyed. "You have no idea how hard Todd has looked for you. He has had every man in the compound searching for you at some time or other these past months. When they found your car wrapped around that tree between Seattle and Bellingham we feared the worst, but your body was never found so we still held out hope that you were ok. The place is going to pot without you. Todd seriously wants to step down and turn it all over to you. He knows you are our only hope to fix things, two other groups like ours have formed and they are quickly taking over most of our business. One is in Europe and the other in South America. Get your butt back here as quickly as possible before we lose everything."

So, Jesse was on his way back to Grayfox. He simply walked out of Rachel's apartment and her life and never looked back. He knew it wasn't right of him, knew he owed her more than that but he didn't have it in him to give it. He was dead inside, he could feel nothing and nothing is all he was willing to give.


	4. Chapter 4

**At this point in the story we go back to the point where it all began, before he met and fell in love with Fallon**

Jesse had been furious when Cara had given him the assignment. "My training is far to complex for such a mundane assignment, it is a complete waste of my time. Tell the client to hire a private investigator. Our skills are entirely too specialized and I'm not getting involved in some guys paranoia over his cheating girlfriend."

"Ordinarily that is exactly what I would have told them, but we are talking about Randall Tremaine's daughter here. Randall himself vouched for this client and you know he only recommends you. So your stuck with it buddy boy." Cara looked really smug. She was always pleased to be able to annoy him since he had rejected her so thoroughly, even humiliated her. She had such a love/hate relationship with him. Jesse felt absolutely nothing for her. Not hate, not friendship, not any emotion at all. He had hated her at first after she came into his room in the middle of the night when he was only 14 years old, but now she was simply insignificant to him.

Cara was 10 years older than Jesse and had wanted him for herself the first time she saw him when he was only 8 years old. She had been the one to convince her father that Jesse should be brought into their home and trained to perhaps take over leadership some day. She had early on seen how intelligent he was her father only realizing his genius later. Of course she wanted him for his looks, as most of the women over the years had, his intelligence was just another plus for her.

"Great, I'm supposed to watch some spoiled rich debutant to make sure she isn't cheating on her fiancé. What am I, a flunky around here? I'm going to your father and tell him I'm not doing this one."

He stormed out of Cara's office and pushed into Todd Holloway's. "Am I or am I not slated to take over this operation when you retire? If not I'm out of here, you can bet at least half of the compound will follow me if I decide to go. What right does Cara have giving me the most bullshit assignment we have ever gotten?"

"Simmer down Jesse, of course you will take over. I would not consider anyone else; you are the best we have, even better than me for that matter. But you have to understand that Randall Tremaine is one of our top paying clients and we need to keep him happy. He simply refuses to use anyone else except you. You have done such excellent work for him in the past that you have created your own monster. He is very protective of his daughter and he is adamant about her marrying this Cole Yeager. Cole's family is very influential and can really help further his bid for president. He believes you are the only one who can find out for sure if she has any involvement with this guy who lives in her house.

"So if I understand right, I'm supposed to be watching Randall's daughter and some guy that is living in her home to make sure they are not sleeping together. Now I know I'm good, but how in hell am I going to find out anything if these two are already living in the same house. I mean am I going to sneak in at night to keep a watch over them without them knowing I'm there? Is this Cole a complete idiot by allowing the man he suspects of cheating with his girlfriend to live under the same roof with her? What does he really expect of us?"

"It's not entirely like that. Fallon Tremaine inherited this very large home and a fortune from her grandmother. She is probably worth more than her father. Word is she's some kind of philanthropist. She graduated from nursing school but has always volunteered her services rather than taken a paying position as a nurse. She volunteers at some health clinic several days a week and invites some of the patients to live in her home until they can get on their feet and pay for their own housing. Leland was having some financial problems about a year ago; he is a struggling musician. He stumbled into the clinic and Fallon took him under her wing. He has been living in her house ever since. The two of them are very close, and Cole is afraid that she has more feelings for him than she should. He wants you to find out how far their relationship has gone. He is pretty certain there is something going on. He is just not sure what. That is what he is hiring us for."

"As long as you're the one giving me the assignment, not Cara, but it is going to be rather difficult to figure out which room he goes into each night. But don't worry, I'll figure something out. The sooner I can get this assignment over with the better."

"Well, actually you are going to be living in the same house yourself. The guest house is vacant right now and Cole is going to introduce you as his writer friend who needs a place to stay while he is writing an article about life in Seattle. You can use any of the men you think might be necessary to fill in the blank spaces in your surveillance. Cole is going to suggest that Fallon rent the guest house to you until you are finished with your research. That should get you the information you need pretty quick. Cole is paying us a rather large sum for this assignment and Randall Tremaine is behind it 100%. As usual you will receive a nice bonus from Randall on this one.


End file.
